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You avoid a lot of the confusion that happens when you allude to what's not there.I always tell men that marriage is not on my radar--although I'm not opposed to getting married--that I've been married before and that for right now it's not what I'm looking for.If you start talking to a guy on the phone every day, there's an expectation that he wants to know where you are and things like that, so you relinquish some of your freedom.I actually prefer a guy to text me to see if it's a good time to talk.Some women might feel like guys will get uninterested if they can't have sex. SMITH: I just assume that all the men that I meet are going to want to sleep with me.If he wants to sleep with me, then it's up to me to determine the pace and how I get involved with him, because he's going to choose if I don't.Most men are OK with it because men aren't really rushing to altar either.
ESSENCE.com: You tell women to go to cities where men outnumber the women. SMITH: Maybe you don't have to go to another city, but go to locations where the men outnumber the women.
It's the small things like being able to choose how you spend your time.
When you get married and you have kids you never get your time back. ESSENCE.com: Are there any rules that you live by to keep your dating life productive? Once a week I go out in a group and once a week I go out by myself. Even if I have a date that week, I'm still going out twice that week.
ESSENCE.com: Sometimes we're so intent on finding Mr. If you're sizing up every guy you meet for a husband, you might miss out on meeting someone that's great to go to the movies with.
Maybe he's not husband material for you, but he's still fun to go on dates with.